11 Things You May Have Missed On The Internet | 12.22.23

2006 nostalgia via Danny Devito's 'Deck the Halls'

Author

Brandon Wenerd
December 22, 2023

Congratulations, guys. You did it. You made it to the holidays. You deserve a break. It’s time to throw that fireplace log on your TV and turn off your brain for a couple of days. It’s time to be festive as a Kevin McCallister sitting down to a bowl of Kraft Mac and Cheese.

I watched Danny DeVito's Deck the Halls for the first time on Hulu last night, and it's a wild ride back to 2006. DeVito plays trophy wife-having car salesman Buddy Hall. As a new neighbor-from-hell, DeVito is on a madcap mission to make his house visible from space with an outrageous Christmas light display. Next door, Matthew Broderick's Steve Finch is the epitome of a Christmas stickler, setting the stage for a holiday showdown.

Kristin Chenoweth, Kristin Davis, and Alia Shawkat also have roles.

The film is packed with over-the-top antics, including secret sabotage missions, a cameo from a spitting camel, and DeVito's character getting confrontational about potential video evidence – something that today's Ring cameras would capture without a hitch.

This movie is pure Danny DeVito, filmed right around the same time he started his iconic role as Frank Reynolds on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." It's DeVito at his eccentric best, a perfect snapshot of his comedic style at the time.

What's fascinating is how 'Deck the Halls' encapsulates the era via a heated neighborly prank war. It’s basically a time capsule of a pre-social media world. Back then, tech and media was all about Blackberries and iPods and flat screen TVs – the iPhone was just a twinkle in Steve Jobs' eye. The notion of documenting every moment on smartphones was alien, much like the idea of DeVito's house being seen from space.

“That's what Christmas memories are made from, they're not planned, they're not scheduled, nobody puts them in their Blackberry, they just happen.” - Deck The Hall

All I could think about is how, if this movie was real life, it’d make for great headlines on BroBible. These characters would go viral a million times over - and probably spend some time behind bars for their crimes.

When you watch them now, so many movies in the early to mid-2000s had this unique blend of post-Y2K optimism, War on Terror avoidance, and a blissfully pre-social media world where people didn’t feel like Big Brother was watching so much. Remember when not every moment of our lives was documented on a smartphone? This movie does.

If you get a chance to watch it, give it a shot. Deck the Halls serves as a humorous reflection on how much we've evolved in 17 years. From the absence of omnipresent smartphones to the unchecked, consequence-free shenanigans of DeVito and Broderick, it's a window into a time that’s simpler yet very wild and wacky. Is it weird that I’m nostalgic for it? Because I am. I miss it.

Happy Holidays everyone. If you’re traveling, safe travels.

INTERVIEW: Jason Alexander Tells Us About His Love Of Poker: His Favorite Hands, The Pros He Gets Tips From, And The Ones He Fears

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5. Know When To Throw in The Towel - “Embrace the power of folding. Recognize that folding is a strategic move, not a sign of weakness. Don’t let pride or attachment to a hand cloud your judgment. If the odds are against you, and the potential risks outweigh the rewards, be willing to fold. Knowing when to throw in the towel and fold is a skill that can save you chips for more favorable situations.”

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He pulled all this off while dressed up as Mr. Larson from Happy Gilmore while wearing a hard hat with a nail in it.

Can I get a “dudes rock!” from the choir? Dudes rock, Amen.

Company Sets New Low Bar For Christmas Bonuses, Offers Woman A ‘Hospital Potato’ She Has To Pay Tax On

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Christmas bonuses are a nice way to feel appreciated. This woman’s Christmas bonus, however, makes the jelly-of-the-month club look like a splurge. If you’re going to give out bake potatoes for a Christmas bonus, it better at least come with chives.

Fantasy Football Punishment Has Men Deep In Debate Over Eating Massive Amounts Of Eggs

How many eggs can you eat in a day? I think I’m good for at least a dozen, but I don’t think I could handle too much more than that. I’ve definitely put down three or four whole deviled eggs or pickled eggs in a sitting. But more than that? Just imagine the farts.

Anyway, we talked about after hearing about a fantasy football punishment that went viral on TikTok.

Shopping for cannabis products has come a long way over the years. Shopping for THC gummies feels like going to a fancy electronics store. That’s because with new advances comes new, sophisticated ways to enjoy it. Delta-9, a compound found, is the hot trend in the market that delivers a unique experience for those in need of R&R.

Florida Bartender Saves The Day After An SUV Drove Into A Canal Next To His Bar (Video)

Dominic, a real-life hero, was bartending at the Pop’s Tiki Bar in Venice, Florida. He saw a van drive off a seawall into a canal, then ran to his car and drove to the scene. He jumped into the water with a police baton and managed to break the window to save the driver.

Bro move, for sure. We need more Dominics in the world.

Magician Oscar Owen Shows How Perform To The ‘Best Card Trick Ever Created’

You know that magic trick where you pick out a card and a magician shuffles a deck, then shows you the card you picked? Turns out it just requires a little muscle memory with your thumb. YouTuber Oscar Owen is really savvy at explaining the "magic" behind a classic magic trick.

Jake Gyllenhaal Looks Absolutely Yolked In First Official Look At ‘Road House’ Remake

I’m trying to hold out hope that the Roadhouse remake will be good. Key word: Trying. But I’ll never understand why Hollywood wanted to remake one of the greatest Patrick Swayze performances of all time. Rowdy Herrington’s original 1989 movie is a masterpiece. Will I go see it? Sure. But the cash-grab feels icky.

Cheers to wishful thinking and pleasent surprises. In the spirit of Dalton, “pain don't hurt” – let's hope this remake doesn't either

#1 Ole Miss Transfer Flexes New NIL Wealth By Pulling Up To Signing Ceremony In Luxury Whip

Deion Smith, a Jackson-native, pulled up to his signing day ceremony in a Lamborghini. His NIL check, apparently, cleared.

Winter Storm That Pounded The Northeast Brought Epic Surfing And Some Of NJ’s Biggest Waves Ever

It’s so awesome when the surf starts bombing in the Northeast. Pretty cool to see so many East Coast surfers have a dream day in the dead of winter.

Scientist Proves ‘Paradox-Free’ Time Travel Is Theoretically Possible

Paradox-free time travel sounds lovely. No one wants to go back or forward in time and screw something up that prevents the universe from unraveling in a natural way. One thing I love about this theory is that it means that time travel could feel like real travel. Vacation time travel! Let’s say you have a flux capacitor: You go back and relive the days of the Roman Empire or the 1980 Miracle on Ice game just for kicks as a tourist on the space-time continum without having to worry about altering history as we know it. That sounds fun, minus the whole getting stuck in a wormhole thing.

Party on, dudes.

Festive music for holiday gatherings

Welcome back to another edition of fresh music Friday! Tis the season and all that, so I’m going to drop you some links to unique albums and playlists that you can throw on for your yuletide gatherings this weekend. It’s not really Christmas to me until I listen to Widespread Panic’s “Christmas Katie” and Robert Earl Keen’s “Merry Christmas From The Family”. Maybe this year I’ll work some blink-182 into the mix as well.

  • Jimmy Buffett - Christmas Island. “Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum” is the greatest Christmas song chorus ever written. Miss you, Jimmy. Listen on Spotify.

  • Calexico - Seasonal Shift. Seasons greetings from the great American Southwest Listen on Spotify.

  • Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass - Christmas Album. I’m obsessed with the song “The Bell That Couldn’t Jingle.” It’s so campy and fun. Listen on Spotify.

  • James Brown - Soulful Christmas. Love me some Christmas funk. Listen on Spotify.

  • Mirror Image - Disco Noel. This album from 1979 is a cocaine blizzard fever dream of holiday classics. Listen on Spotify.

  • The Ventures - The Ventures’ Christmas Album. Christmas, Southern California style. I listened to this album one Christmas morning while watching surfers catch big waves at El Porto. It rocks. Listen on Spotify.

  • Afroman - A Colt 45 Christmas. Can’t forget about the time Afroman recorded the song “O Chronic Tree”, an homage to with “your leaves so green and sticky to me.” Listen on Spotify.

  • Bob Dylan - Christmas In The Heart. Call me a sucker, but I really like Robert Zimmerman’s 2009 old-timey Christmas album. Listen on Spotify.

Next year I’ll make a playlist. I promise.

Thanks for reading. Have any feedback about the newsletter? Drop me a line at [email protected] or reach out to me on Instagram, Twitter, or TikTok.

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